Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(772): View more from Florida

I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.

Fav 26 1144 4102
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(734): View more from Michigan

i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..

Fav 17 4245 1789
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(785): View more from Kansas

Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..

Fav 8 5103 1841
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(682): View more from Texas

While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.

Fav 12 1422 4408
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(858): View more from California

while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go

Fav 7 4100 942
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(785): View more from Kansas

coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow

(1-785): View more from Kansas

why would you restrict a girl of that

Fav 6 2484 986
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.

Fav 6 2022 969
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(512): View more from Texas

my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.

Fav 2 385 229
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(919): View more from North Carolina

The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.

Fav 1 30 5
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