I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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