why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
