If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
