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so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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