I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
