fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You were trust falling into bushes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
