I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
