just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i drank out of a bidet.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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