I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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