i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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