both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
