I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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