I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
