Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
