i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
