doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
