i don't plan on having that self control this summer
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
