So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
