wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i will never coherently bang her
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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