so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
