She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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