i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
