I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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