HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize