How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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