theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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