I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
