um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
