Plan B is the new Plan A
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
