People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
