too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
