i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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