He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
