so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
