I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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