i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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