She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
well you can't waste a boner
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
