fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
