this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
