I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
