can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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