i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
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