dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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