these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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