dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
