highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
