My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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