If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
