i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
