You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize