I'm lost and stupid without you.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just gargled with NyQuil
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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