She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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