I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize