Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
