What did we do last night that was yellow?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
