speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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