I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
