He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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