I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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