found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
