STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
