i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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