so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
